obsession

it’s 5am and i’m still awake. i walk into my kitchen and i feel the strong presence of ted. i chatted him up online and we emailed and texted quite a bit. i was amazed that he wanted to see me right away. he was a chef. so that was the only reason why i invited him over. i’m a total hot mess in the kitchen. he arrived and he was so tall and so thick and he looked so business-like. i got wet immediately but that didn’t show on the outside: i was all business on the outside. he prepared a exquisite meal and i could not help myself. i kissed him. and kissing led to more and more but there was no penile penetration since he was too big. yes too big. usually that’s a plus but not for me. i run kinda small. so he gave me a lot of finger action which was very erotic. he said he couldn’t come twice in an evening being over 40 but he did. i have that effect on men some times. anyway, he left in a rush. he said i was a neat freak and and insomniac. i was merely cleaning the kitchen so it would be ready for his morning breakfast creation. i think he left because he probably lied about being single. which would not make any sense since he told me he has his kids on sun/mon.  i go 2 years without relations to this guy. i’m totally smitten by him and he refuses to contact me. i wish i could feel used but i don’t. i just feel obsessed and i have to do everything in my power to not cyber stalk him.  nite…