Top Ten Reasons to Drop the F-Bomb

10 – You arrive at your local bank and no customers are present, you are the only one. Instead of getting immediate service, the three tellers pretend to enter data into their computers, chat and snicker amongst themselves and make you wait. So you just stand there and fucking wait and when one of the tellers finally lifts her fucking head to motion for you, she acts as though you interrupted her day. Are you fucking kidding me!?

9 – You are the fourth car about to merge onto the highway. The first car slows down and just fucking stops! Tiny windows open up for the first car to merge, but it just sits there, hoping all traffic will be beamed up by Scotty for it to merge. You can’t go around because you are too far back. Fucking move you moron! Learn how to fucking merge!!

8 – It never fails. When stuck in traffic, your lane is the slow lane. As soon as you move into the fast lane, it quickly becomes the slow lane, and the slow lane you just moved out of, well of course, it’s now the fast moving lane. You can’t fucking win!

7 – Same as #8, only apply it to the check-out aisles at the grocery store. Fuuuuuuuuuuuck!

6 – You toiled 70+ hours in one work week, and you are looking forward to having a 3 day weekend. But as luck would have it, you caught a bug and now you’re in bed sick for the entire weekend. The bug goes away of course, just in time to start your next work week. Fucking really!?

5 – The pair of shoes you want, that are marked 75% off, are not in your size. “I don’t fucking believe this!”

4 – (true story) You’re waiting in a very long line to purchase lottery tickets for the huge Powerball. A kindly, little old lady asks to get in front of you as soon as you arrive at the cashier’s window. You feel sorry for her and want to respect your elders. You let her jump ahead of you. Turns out, granny bought the winning quick pick ticket. As long as you live, you will never allow another mother fucker to cut in line again!

3 – You toss and turn all night. Can’t get a wink of sleep. Until finally you slip into the most majestic coma, only to be horribly ripped from your slumber by your alarm clock. Wakey wakey, eggs and fucking bakey.

2 – Completely dressed and bundled up. Your hand on the front door knob ready to leave the house. When that familiar urgency hits your bowels. You know if you pass gas right now, there is a good possibility you could shit yourself. So you rush to the toilet for relief. Of course it’s the type of bowel movement that you have to keep wiping and wiping to get clean. You were going to be early, but this surprise shit has made you fucking late.

1 – You quit your last job due to the craziness, only to find a whole ‘nother level of crazy at your new job. The grass is never fucking greener.

ps: inspired by: