sleep deprivation


I worked a double tonight. Someone called out sick. I could have said no but I love a challenge and this job is truly challenging me. But these doubles are taking their toll. I have most of the adverse effects of sleep deprivation, on top of my regular, natural anxiety if anxiety can be regular and natural. And I am fighting my natural urge of not being a people person (meaning I typically hate people, prefer cats and dogs), so that creates even more stress. So many times I want to strangle people at work, at the gas station, in the grocery store, in my building. I guess I have a very low threshold for strangling. They say knowing there’s a problem is half the battle. Yeah, whatever.

So after I made my third error at work in the past 5 weeks, I will now be on just evening shift and no more overnights. I can’t help but wonder if my subconscious planned this. I never wanted to work overnights, I was just being flexible. Gifts sometimes come disguised as something negative. Hopefully, I will be able to keep my 32 hours and keep my benefits, although I have yet to use them. When I had no health insurance, I had to go to those minute clinics and pay through the nose. Now I have insurance, I don’t even use it! I should probably try to schedule some emergency doctor appointments this weekend, just in case I lose it next week. “I’m insured doc, so run every test you can!”

OK. 11:17am. Time to try to get 2 hours of sleep before I have to get up and go to work.