lights camera…


The first time, I vomited. The second time, I cried myself to sleep. The third time, I took enough xanax and vodka to not feel. Every other time after that didn’t matter because I was dead inside. I smile. I giggle. I laugh. I make you believe I love this. I make you believe this is harmless fun. When you watch me, do you wonder if I had dreams? Do you wonder what put me here, on this set? I wonder why you watch. I feel sorry for your loneliness, your secret depravity. Know I matter. Know I had dreams.

photo credit: Kent Bonham