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  • ContactRida 2:41 am on January 22, 2015 Permalink | Reply
    Tags:   

    never to have loved 

    My heart has never mended from the pain it suffered
    When you turned your back to me, I never felt so helpless
    Countless years pass as I pine for what was lost
    I grieve for the love I had, I grieve for what it’s cost
    To you we were nothing but two ships passing in the night
    To me you were the sun and the moon, oh how my heart took flight
    I stand here now a shadow of my former self having lost what I once loved
    Wishing better my ship had stayed docked, better never to have loved
    boatpilxr_-antiqued

    Copyright – Georgia Koch

     
    • Margaret 6:23 pm on January 24, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      So much sorrow. Touching interpretation of the picture – the image of passing boats works well here.

      • ContactRida 3:52 am on January 26, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        thank you. it was one of my first thoughts, 2 ships passing. i also thought of the song, Brandy, “…my life, my love and my lady, is the sea…”

    • milliethom 9:08 am on January 24, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Your poem is absolutely beautiful. The language is so evocative and emotion pulsates from every line. That you have based it on personal experience make it doubly poignant. Thank you for sharing this.

      • ContactRida 11:20 am on January 24, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        no. thank you for enjoying it. as always (i don’t know if this happens to all writers) what i started out to write and what i ended up with, were two totally different things. i didn’t plan on writing about myself. guess my subconscious takes over when i least expect it. if that makes any sense. til next friday… if i feel inspired. and for me, some things will hurt forever. i just accept the pain and try to use it in a positive way.

    • kirsten 6:14 pm on January 23, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      a powerful poem! You could taste the pain in each line.

    • Björn Rudberg (brudberg) 5:08 pm on January 23, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      The pain seems to be bottomless .. I guess the brighter the joy the darker the sorrow…

      • ContactRida 8:13 pm on January 23, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        Elizabeth Barrett Browning (1806-1861) phrased it best:

        How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
        I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
        My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
        For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
        I love thee to the level of everyday’s
        Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
        I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
        I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
        I love thee with a passion put to use
        In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.
        I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
        With my lost saints, — I love thee with the breath,
        Smiles, tears, of all my life! — and, if God choose,
        I shall but love thee better after death.

        this is how i love, which explains why i haven’t been in a relationship since that soul-taking betrayal…

    • Sally Stackhouse 10:42 am on January 23, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      A heart felt poem – I understand that grief as well.

      • ContactRida 1:17 pm on January 23, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        thank you. something amazing can come from tragedy when we allow ourselves to grieve fully…

    • patrickprinsloo 10:40 am on January 23, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Terribly sad and great rhyming couplets.
      Hope you find a suitable lifejacket – time to swim, not drown.

    • Sarah Ann Hall 6:36 am on January 23, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      So sad, and the contrast between the two parties and their desires is so stark. That last line is heart-wrenching.

      • ContactRida 1:21 pm on January 23, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        i know the last line is heart wrenching, but writing it down and making something special of it, makes the pain just a little bit more bearable. but i’d still rather never have the pain…

    • draliman 3:56 am on January 23, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      It’s awful when one person feels so much stronger about a relationship than the other. You told it so well.
      They say “it’s better to have loved and lost…” but I’m not so sure either.

      • ContactRida 1:28 pm on January 23, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        thank you. i’m not so sure either. it rips your heart out and you feel betrayed when your love is deeper and pure and complete but the other person just sees something different. i so truly wish this story wasn’t from experience. i may publish the letters i wrote him, nearly 200, while he was stationed in Iraq. he wrote me about 7. guess i should have known then. C’est la vie.

    • plaridel 10:58 pm on January 22, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      i felt the pain. you had expressed it well. nice job..

    • Michael B. Fishman 2:09 pm on January 22, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      It’s kind of spooky but it’s almost like you took the words for this story/poem out of my head. I’m sorry you still grieve for the love you lost, but I’m happy to find out that I’m not alone! 🙂

    • dmmacilroy 5:26 am on January 22, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Dear CR,

      A foray into poetry is always fraught with peril. You’re braver than most. I feel the pain.

      Aloha,

      Doug

    • rochellewisoff 5:25 am on January 22, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Dear ContactRida,

      I can feel the pain of her loss.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      • ContactRida 8:57 pm on January 22, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        thank you Rochelle, wish i could say it wasn’t from personal experience…

  • ContactRida 5:31 am on January 15, 2015 Permalink | Reply
    Tags:   

    windows to the soul 

    Ben returned home. He completed rehab. His fourth. He fixated on the screen and courtyard. His parent’s estate was opulent, “…yet the screen… the courtyard…” he queried aloud. He felt his sobriety rested on solving this mystery. “Why put a cheap screen in this house? Why eat facing a barren courtyard?” After several moments, he gradually realized he was looking at himself. The home’s opulence represented his rich kid façade; the screen, his ugly heroin addiction; and lastly the courtyard, his empty soul. “Benjamin, are you ready?” “Yes mother,” he called out, knowing this meal would be his last supper.

    dining-room

    PHOTO PROMPT – Copyright – Jan Wayne Fields

     
    • rochellewisoff 8:23 pm on January 19, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Dear ContactRida,

      It’s interesting that you see Ben turning a corner while many of us read that he’d made peace with suicide. Must be that “last supper” thing.

      Nicely done.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      • ContactRida 11:01 pm on January 21, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        thank you Rochelle. this story is inspired by a real person i met. he’s a good person. i just wish he’d stop…

    • Margaret 3:18 am on January 17, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Interesting approach. An intriguing snapshot of a turning point in his life.

      • ContactRida 1:12 pm on January 19, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        thank you. we all have turning points, hopefully we choose the right paths…

    • sustainabilitea 10:08 pm on January 15, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      So sad that after going through all that, he’s going to end it.

      janet

      • ContactRida 11:37 am on January 16, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        yes end it. but it’s up to you which end you see for him. it could be the end of living a lie and starting his own life away from this place he called home. his last supper could be his first step to no longer being empty.

    • BrainRants 12:54 pm on January 15, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Wow. Bold use of the leading ellipsis as you open his out-loud thoughts. It lends the reader the notion he started saying aloud what was inside his troubled head.

      • ContactRida 11:38 am on January 16, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        thank you very much. i talk aloud all the time and usually answer myself. childhood habit that will never die.

    • Caerlynn Nash 9:24 am on January 15, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      If only people understood the multitude of reasons for addictions, perhaps we wouldn’t have so many “barren courtyards.” Great metaphor.

    • draliman 8:09 am on January 15, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      It sounds like he’s losing his battle against addiction, poor chap. I like the idea of using the scene as reflections of different parts of him.

      • ContactRida 11:42 am on January 16, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        thank you. i believe Ben had an epiphany, a moment of clarity and decided he wasn’t going to live this way anymore. suicide or sobriety is up to the reader. me personally, i see him destroying his old foundation and creating a new one; one without addiction.

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