the insanity of online dating 

the following is the message i sent to a stranger at an online dating site:

“this is how it will be:   
1. we will meet and you will fall head over heels for me
2. you will love my candor and simplicity
3. you will pull back because such intensity scares the crap out of you
4. you will stop returning my calls, say “it’s not you, it’s me”
5. you will break my heart

so instead of all this drama and heartache, we should just fuck on our first and only date… sounds like a plan?

he thinks to himself, “she is either an insatiable slut or a really funny girl.”  the plot thickens…”

i don’t know what got into me. maybe it was the Bailey’s Cream in my hot cocoa or maybe it was the bullshit of dating online. men are visual creatures but we all know it’s substance that keeps them. but how will he ever get to the substance if his thinking is so one dimensional and focused on the visual? whatever.

i don’t have time for dating anyway. so many things now seem only to exist to give me ideas for writing. and i grow increasingly frustrated that my writing is interrupted by work, school, sleep, life. i can’t wait until my vay-cay to vegas. no interruptions. no distractions. 12 days of blissful writing. it is my secret goal to write 2 novels while on holiday in vegas. will it happen? only time will tell. since my best work seems to come when i’m drunk, it is totally possible:)

His response< 24hrs:

DOUG: Ha! great message and I can sympathize with your sequence there. You’re solution is obviously intriguing too, but that would be a first and I’m not sure I got it in me. Between work and this profile (which is completely blowing up MUCH to my surprise???!) I’ve got a little too many irons in the fire right now. Think I must politely decline for the time being at least.
Message from Hi-Im-Doug
RIDA:  decline to what exactly? haha. that i piqued your curiosity is a victory in itself:) your profile is very active since a woman knows a great catch when she sees it… godspeed, until we meet (knees pressed firmly together;)